I've been dating this amazing girl. And the way she cares for me is fierce. I was with her when I reached to move something in a really awkward way and something in my shoulder ripped. I yelped and she was immediately holding me and was suddenly more tender with me than I was with myself.
I was ready to just ignore it and walk it off, but it was bad. Within an hour or so she had looked up what could be the problem and before I went to sleep that night she had forwarded me several articles on what it was, how to treat it and a shoulder pad that was reviewed to help heal it. I'm not great about caring for myself. I hadn't had a doctor in ten years, until she encouraged me to go and get one recently. She even went with me to that appointment.
She was like a cat on a mouse, in the way she saw a way she could help heal me. This is what I mean by fierce. Quick, passionate, and thorough. She was quick to pin down that mouse, because she knew I would be better without it.
But I wasn't going to get healed simply because she sent me that stuff. I had to read the articles. I had to order the shoulder heating pad. I had to schedule a doctor appointment. She set me up and encouraged me to do what she knew would keep me healthy, but I had to stop being lazy, and stop doing all this work stuff I thought was so all-important, and do what everyone else knows is healthy for my body and my soul.
This way that she cares for me has rocked me. And I wondered, God, is this maybe how you love me, too?
God, I assume you know all the ways I need to be healed far better than I, and you put opportunities in front of me. I'm guessing You want me healed even more than I do. And I won't even stop working, or watching Netflix, to spend some time with you, or do what you say. Help me want my healing as much as you do, and to be obedient to pursue it. Thank you for caring for me with a fierce kind of love.
Raw Spoon, 4-16-19
