Updated: Jun 14, 2019
A lot of interesting people jog along the road that I drive to work. On my way home today my eyes lingered a moment too long on a female jogger of abounding interest.
I know it doesn’t directly hurt anybody but me, but I still felt a little bit of shame. I had been trying to eliminate even these impurities from me. I want to be as disciplined and as pure as possible for myself and for God.
Upon looking closer I identified two assumptions that made me ashamed: that I had made it more difficult for God to love me, and that I had hurt Him somehow.
But a moment later I thought that if anything, He feels even more love for me in the way that you feel sorry for someone who is hurting them self. How could it be that where my eyes secretly go and the lust my inner heart indulges in could hurt anybody but me? . . . unless someone loves me enough that it hurt them when they saw me hurting myself.
And I don’t think I can ultimately hurt God. Is there anything I could do to damage our invincible God or diminish his infinite reservoir of life? I think that the only reason our every sin hurts him, is not because we are taking something away from Him, but because He loves each of us so much that it hurts Him when we’re taking away from ourselves.