Leonard slammed the big wooden door as quickly as his 7 yr old arms could close it. It shut with a bang and rattled in its latch.
He told himself, “We are done! I can’t talk to my dad anymore.” He stomped to the window. “He can’t tell me what to do!”
Just then he heard his father’s footsteps in the hall. They stopped at his door. His father’s voice said, “Leonard? Can we talk?”
“Too soon, dad. Too soon.” Leonard shouted back at the door, in tears. “I don’t think we’re gonna be able to work this out, Pops.”
His dad smiled behind the door. “I think you’re exaggerating a little, big guy. I know like it feels like we’ve hit an impasse. You want to do something we won’t allow in this house. That is not the end of us. We’ll work things out.”
“I think perhaps it is otherwise. I will not compromise my hygienic values.”
“But you don’t need to wash your hands every ten minutes to stay healthy. Your mom and I are worried and we want to help you get to a better mindset.” He waited a moment and then said, “Can I come in, buddy?”
“It is technically your house.” Leonard spouted resentfully.
The big dark door opened silently. His father was tall, and regal, salt and pepper hair and beard. He definitely looked the prime minister he was. He walked over and sat on the window seat next to Leonard. “Here,” his father opened the curtains. “You see all that?”
Leonard’s gaze crawled up and out of the window. It was big and bustling out there. Tall brick buildings spouting smoke from chimneys and noisy cars rushing through red lights on cobble stone streets. It was all so much bigger than him. He realized he couldn't run away. There was no way he would make it out there. His only option really was to stay here. His parents did indeed keep him safe from that outside world.
“I know we have our differences, and sometimes it feels like it can’t be repaired." His father said, "But I want you to remember that no matter if it feels like we don’t get along for a time, we are still, always your foundation. We will always keep you safe from that big dangerous city out there, as much as you will let us. You are our son and it is always our responsibility to make sure you are okay.”
Leonard, looked at an ambulance with sirens rushing by, almost making him dizzy. He repeated, almost just to himself, “they are my foundation.” Then he looked at his dad, slowly.
“It doesn’t mean we have to get along…”
“We’ll, I hope we—“
Leonard interrupted him, “—right now, that is.”
His father smiled and said, “Right now. Yes. We don’t always have to be getting along for us to always be your foundation.” He watched little Leonard wrapping his head around this. He added, “We love you.” And After another pause… “Okay?”
Leonard slowly looked at his dad. His face became softer. And he said, “I guess, since I’m stuck with you, I should learn to love you back.”
His dad smiled and watched the journey happening on his son’s face.
“But imma need a few days I think, okay?”
“Yessir. You got it, buddy. Just as long as you know we’re always here for you.”
—-
It’s good to know that even if we feel mad or distant from God right now. He is still, and always is, our foundation.
Raw Spoon
November, 2022
