Too Close to Know
Updated: Jun 14, 2019
I have lots of doubts in God, partly because i don’t think i’ve ever actually undeniably felt Him.
But i’ve noticed people talking about how they’ve seen Jesus in certain people lately.
For example, a friend told me, “you should have seen John even a few years ago. He definitely had some anger. But God has been working in him.” I talked to John yesterday and he is the most joy-filled person i think i’ve met for a month.
A friend told us her story last week and it was amazing how, upon looking back, she could see God directly worked in her to pull her out of a paralyzing depression.
And lastly, I admitted to my pastor that i wasn’t sure i had ever experienced Christ, last Sunday, and he said, “Ross, i see him in you in the way you love others at church.”
I wonder if sometimes i am a little bit too close to my situation. Though others around us say they experience Christ through us, we cannot step back enough to see what is really happening; I cannot differentiate what part of the changing of my heart is from my twisted head, and which part is the creator of my soul forming my heart from the very innermost parts of my being.