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I jumped from the roof because my friends had all died. The entire world had been drowned. It was from the roof of the tallest tower in Europe. The crop-producing lands in America, Australia, and Asia had already been swallowed by the rising salt water and the world had starved. And our conquest to live on other planets had failed us. I was the last person. I no longer wanted to be surrounded by the dead bodies of my friends and others who had been starved of food and water on the roof with me. So I jumped into the water looming 70 floors below. And then I woke up. Here. Peace. Free from all the heaviness of the earth. Lots of light. And you were here. I felt like I knew you. Better than anyone I have ever known, but I had never met you. Like you had been in everyone I had met, but I didn’t know it was you. Your smile was knowing, as if you were happy that I was about to discover a secret you had for me. I looked around. “This place seems nice,” I said. “I hope so. I made it for us.” “Just you and me? What about the rest of creation? Everybody else?” “They are in you. It was you who lived every life. Every animal and insect and plant to every last human. It was you. You are now more complete. You are more like me.” And as I thought about it, I remembered everything. It doubled me over at the waist, like a tsunami had crashed over my heart. You were right there with me, your hand on my back. “The pain,” I groaned. “So much pain. So much I did wrong. I’m sorry.” “I know,” you said. “But we will now judge it, my wrath will be your forgiveness. I will burn up your pain and we will make you new. Because there is so much beauty I see in you.” I nodded, because by the way you said it I knew it was true. I looked up and your eyes were kind. I knew this kindness, and tenderness would bring my judgement that would save me. Like a scalpel held in the tender hand of a loving surgeon. You walked me to a river. It was steaming. So, so beautiful. It flowed down from a mountain. You led me up the mountain. All was so beautiful. So much beauty and complexity to explore. “I’ve made it all for you, my son.” I use the word son here, because it is close, but the word you used also included daughter, and brother and sister, and wife and husband, and created, and servant, and every good thing every life on earth had ever been to you and to each other. We came to a spring at the top of the mountain and you stepped in. You beckoned me to follow. You did not force me. But I trusted you. I stepped in. The pure crystal water burned parts of me like a liquid diamond excising to my bones. It carved out the pained and ugly and vengeful parts of me. I looked down and saw dark red dross coming off of me, dispersing and disappearing into the vast spring. “As far as the East is from the West,” you said. It burned badly, but I wanted to be purified. The memories of pain and sin did not leave me, but the water soaked them through with a new flavor, purified them. And I knew that those hard memories, too, had made me into who I am. They had built into me humility, and empathy, and an understanding of how good was your goodness, because I had seen the great darkness in me. And I knew the water was your forgiveness. “Thank you,” I said. “Half of the forgiveness was for yourself; you needed to forgive yourself.” You looked down at my wrists just as they were entering the water. “And now you know the pain I bore for all the forgiveness I have given you. You would be less without knowing this pain as well. This is also how you will know how much I love you.” The blood on the fresh nail wounds stung as my wrists dipped into the water. But as I let them settle in, the water took the pain away. My scars were not removed, but were healed. In fact there were faded dense shapes all over my skin. It made up my skin’s essence. I realized I bore the scars of all people on earth. But it was the scars that made up the material of my skin. And the scars were beautiful, their shapes making beautiful, flat, skin-colored tattoos faded on my skin if I looked close enough. If I did not look so close, I could only see the stigmata on my wrists. I settled into the water, following you, but of my own will. I kept my eyes open as I dipped my head under the water, because there was so much in them that could be purified. But also that way I could see all the pain lifting out of me and spreading out from me toward the edges of the spring. I could see it would become the soil from which things in this world would grow. But the pain in me was replaced by such a deep, understanding and renewal. Your hand found mine under the water, and in that instant I realized this redemption of my suffering was the secret you had wanted to share. We gently floated to the middle of the hot spring, side by side. “I thought there was supposed to be a third among us? The Holy Spirit.” “He is the one that connects us. There is you, and there is me, but together we are more than just you and me. That is he. Our love that is the invisible bond that binds us. You can see him if you look.” I looked at you and saw him in your face. In your smile. But behind you I saw mountains and more creatures moving on the hillsides and the great skies with rolling clouds, like those on earth. And I realized that was the Spirit as well. Every embodiment of the love between us was him.” You said ‘him’, but it also meant the spirit was ‘her’. “What do we do now?” “Well, you no longer operate on the spectrum of Good and Evil. I created you in that world but you have finally graduated. We now operate on the spectrum of love and more love. It is only limited by our creativity. The only tragedy in this story between you and I will be ways we imagine to love each other that we have not yet fulfilled. And that is how we will live anew.” I smiled and knew. I started to back away from you, with a coy smile. And you knew too. You would pursue me. But now I would spend a thousand years creating creatures that could enjoy this love with us. And in that time you would be ever seeking me, and me ever you. Hoping to be with each other like the night before our wedding. But you would learn about me through the beauty in every single thing I could create to give to you. I would learn about you and how you created me. And at the end of that long night you would find me again and you would hold me, like your true created, becoming more and more like the image of you, my creator. — Is this one possible way the judgment day could look? I don’t think this is how it will happen, but I hope this story increases our imagination of God! This story is a fictional concept of mine. But a friend, Therese, showed me “The Egg,” a story by Andy Weir (the author of The Martian) which is super similar to this. So I thought I’d write my version as well! Here is his version. Check it out! http://www.galactanet.com/oneoff/theegg_mod.html Raw Spoon, 1-28-16 📷

I went to visit my friend, Trevor in Oklahoma City this weekend.  This friend regularly tells me stories about people that are healed when he prays for them!  We were walking through Oklahoma city together and he said, “I’m gonna try something crazy.” I look up and see people walking towards us.  I say, “Go for it, man.” He stops the people and asks, “Do any of you have any pain I can pray for?” They gave this weirded out look and said no.  They walked on. Next he asked the same thing to a large family with kids and they seemed more accepting but again, had no pain they needed to be healed from.  This could have felt embarrassing if I had let it. Finally as we were waiting at a crosswalk, Trevor turned around and asked a tall, weathered, tough looking young man if he had any pain.  He said No.  Trevor pressed the issue.  “No shoulder pain or foot pain, or maybe back pain we can pray for?” “Not really.” he said, “But I’m trying to figure out whether i should go back to my wife tonight or not.” Suddenly my ears perked and i turned to fully face him.  We had found the pain. Trevor persisted- he wanted to see a healing, “Are you sure you don’t have a wrist or a hand maybe that needs healing?” I smiled but butted in.  “What happened with your wife tonight?” Jake told us his story.  We went to Sonic and sat for an hour as he talked and we tried to council him.  That day he had gotten so angry at his wife that he smashed a vacuum cleaner and his fist through some walls.  After that he had gone to the bank, emptied his account and left on his motorcycle.  When we found him he was debating on whether to go back to her or go to Kentucky and start completely over. He had come from a past of prison, drugs and alcoholism.  He had rebuilt his life with his wife and said that he was blessed with great daughters, a successful business, a great church, and a beautiful house.  he hadn’t had a drink for ten years, but tonight he said he had been thinking what the hell, why not a beer. He said he had been running from God all day.  Several people from the church had texted and tried to call him but he turned off his phone because he didn’t want to listen.  He looked at us and said, but God found me anyways tonight. We listened and prayed with him and tried our best to give advice.  I’m not sure if we solved his marriage problems, probably not entirely.  He will have a difficult journey ahead.  but I think it could have been terribly worse if we had not stepped out in love and looked for someone who needed healing. Thank you God for using us. Raw Spoon

I like how good will, and creative generosity can be so contagious.  My dad told me a story about a couple that goes to a restaurant and picks out a patron and anonymously foots their bill– and that infected me. I ate at a restaurant the other day and told the waitress to let me pay for “that couple’s bill”- I pointed to a middle aged couple that didn’t seem to have much to talk about.  “And please don’t tell them who it was from” I added. From a distance I heard their disbelief and happiness.  I hope they had something to talk about on the way home.  Something contagious. Raw Spoon

I still had the $602 that I had been given.  I was looking for ways to help people with it. I found  my pastor on Wednesday and said, “Can you make sure this gets to the Petersons, please- they need it.”  I handed him a stack of 20s adding up to $100.  “I’d give it to them myself but I don’t want them to think of me whenever they need a bailout.  I’d rather just stay their friend.  The pastor nodded and asked, “Randy and Sarah Peterson? Yes I will make sure they get it.” I was praying with Randy and Sarah this week (we try to do 10 minutes of morning prayer several times a week) and Randy asked me, “Did you give Pastor Tim $100 to give to us?” I replied, “Someone gave you $100?  Wow!  That’s cool.” “Yeah, you’re the only one that we’ve told about our money situation.  You and Sarah’s sister, but we just want to be able to thank the person.” “Wow, cool.” I said.  “Maybe they just thought you needed it.  Well it seems like the giver must be getting enough satisfaction by giving it that they don’t need to tell you who they are.  I’d say just pass on the blessing somehow to other people.” The giver did get enough satisfaction by just giving it, but there was even more satisfaction in hearing their baffled gratitude. Raw Spoon

I met a boy named Carlton a couple weeks ago. he showed up at my house with some of the kids from the youth group i help at. His friend had just died in a car accident and he had a lot of digesting to do. He poured out his troubles of fighting with his dad, losing girlfriends and dire financial debts. He had just gotten a new job but he hadn’t paid his insurance and didn’t have gas money to get to work. I offered my extra mattress to him if he needed a place to stay that night. He did and we talked late into the night until he finally talked himself to sleep. Later I rallied some of the kids from the youth group to get some money together to buy him a gas card. I thought that was the best, safest way to supply for him. His most important need, was to be able to get to work.  then he would be able to pull himself out of many of the other problems he was having.  We accrued $130 and bought him a gas card. (more to come on Carlton) Raw Spoon

He brought two friends and the four of us drove down to the Christian coffee shop in Wichita. Did people expect more at a Christian coffee shop?  they assume a Christians or Christian coffee shops should buy them coffee.  Does the world expect more out of Christians?  I would guess so.  That makes our job harder.  Time to step up our game, Christians.  Live radically.  Be ready to sacrifice. Raw Spoon

I’ve been thinking lately about why a lot of Christian art seems to be, well, not as good as a lot of Have you seen the Christian movies out there? Christian radio and music is so void of innovation. Christian art doesn’t ALL have to be “family friendly”. I feel like a lot of Christian movies avoid scary things, and bad words and Christian music stays pretty It’s hard because much of the Christian culture promotes this safe mindset.

I have a friend, Manny, who started a church whose goal was to rescue people from traditional Christianity He sees inconsistencies in the Bible, and harmful things in traditional Christian theology, and his family has been extremely hurt by Christianity. The issues he was dealing with were complicated but I hate that Christianity had anything to do with And I haven’t lost a brother because of Christianity.

It’s easy to look at Christians who are living very similar to the rest of the world and ask, “If this is Christianity how is there anything true about the spirit that changes people?” But I think looking at the majority of people who call themselves Christians isn’t the right way to identify Christians. I’ve seen a few examples of people who call themselves Christians and actually manage their lives to

I realized this weekend that some of us have more luxury to be good than others. For example, I heard from someone who taught kids in inner-city schools that the pressure to be in a gang was so high there that like 5 out of 6 teenage boys were in a gang. With all those pressures those kids just don’t have the luxury of being good all the time. But even apart from our surroundings, doesn’t it just seem like some people are born with meaner hearts than others? You can see it in us even before we are old enough to realize we have a choice. And I know that depending on my surroundings a much better or much worse me can come out, independent of who I’m trying to be. Islam. Hindu. Buddhism. As far as I understand, these religions rank your eternal standing on how good you are throughout your life. Islam: Like an 80 year score card. Buddhism: Score card Karma. Hinduism: you will pay in this life for what you did in the previous one and the bill for the next life is accruing right now. But we say that Christ understands that we sate our hunger in all the wrong ways because we are broken, that our addictions are usually stronger than us, and that we know not much of what we do. And if we’ve been terrible for our whole life He won’t let that keep us out of heaven. It appears the only thing that will get us in or out of heaven is what we believe; that we’ve dug ourselves a humongous hole of debt and that He is the only one compassionate enough and reliable enough and big enough to fulfill His promise to reach down and lift us out. And it looks like there will be rewards in heaven for lives lived well but it will be sad for most of us to get to heaven and realize that with what we were given we wasted most of our lives on fading goals. Raw Spoon

favorite type of worship song is usually those secular songs which I already love, but which become Christian But I'd love to hear which secular songs you listen to that seem to have a Christian message. following: U2: Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For U2 is known for their secular songs that have Christian

As other religions flourish in this beautiful atmosphere of religious freedoms, Christianity is becoming But I can see the benefit in this because if we still want Christianity to be compelling and relevant