In his dream Danny was led by two very tall and serious beings into a vast room. It was like a stadium but at least twice the size of any he had ever seen. And whose columns were made of marble and roof of beautifully carved wood. It was open in the middle through which a tremendous pillar of light shot upward. It emanated from a swirling ball of light the size of a large house floating in the middle of the gargantuan building.
Blue blades of light sliced from the ball through the air and reached deep into the audience, dropping whole swaths of angels to their knees, praying, praising, repenting for a time every time it passed through them.
It was loud, a deep rumbling roar frosted with the sound of the slicing like from metal blades swirling around it.
As he approached he felt himself resist but the beings continued to pull him forward. When he resisted further one of them turned to him and with a surprisingly deep and peace-filled voice said, “Fear not. For He is good.”
And in that moment he realized the vastness of this goodness was what he so feared. He saw within the light millions of scenes of people being touched and severed by God’s goodness. It was good people being freed from burdens that kept them from the justice they deserved. It was wayward people being brought to their knees by their wrongs so they had a moment of clarity in which they could choose a new path. These blades were not afraid to draw metaphorical blood from dark parts of hearts if it could free the soul.
He fell to his knees, knowing he could not stand before this being and keep all the parts of him he hoarded.
Suddenly he felt a warmth flow over him, and the sound around him blurred as if a bubble of water had grown from the sphere and engulfed him. The accompanying beings had dropped back. And he heard a voice.
“I want to cut parts of you away.”
Danny was terrified. Would God take years from his life, or someone he loved away from him? Those years he had cheated a little on his taxes, and the thoughts of hate he harbored felt like obscene flags inside of him that he wanted to cover up. He now felt how unholy he was in this pure light. He could feel impurities in so many crevices of his soul, far too many to count. He would only be one gaping wound if every one of his impurities were to be cut out.
“Resent your brother no longer.”
Danny knew exactly what part of his soul that was. He felt it and it suddenly felt so large. But he was extremely grateful that this is all God asked of him today. He slowly, and gratefully offered it up as he said, “Alright. Yes. It is yours, mighty Lord.”
He felt a blade of the blue light slice through the air and cut it clean from his out-reaching hands. As he felt all the tangled tendrils of it being tugged out of his heart he fell to his stomach in the dream. Then he woke up.
He looked over at his bed stand and saw his phone had a notification. He picked it up. A text from his brother said, “Hey bro, so sorry to ask yet again. But do you think you could possibly help me with rent again this month pls?”
—-
Knowing that God aims for total purity, what small thing might he be asking you to surrender today? How can we be grateful he only asks that of us today?
Raw Spoon, 12-29-2020
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