
Danny looked around. This had to be a dream. He was led by two very tall, bright and serious beings into a vast stadium. It was at least twice the size of any he had ever seen. The columns were vast, hundreds of feet high and made of marble. They held up a roof made of beautifully carved wood. A large circle in the middle of the roof was open to the sky, and through which a tremendous ray of light shot upward. It emanated from a swirling ball of light the size of a mansion, floating in the very center of the huge stadium.
Blue blades of light emanated from the ball and sliced through the air. They reached deep into the audience, dropping whole swaths of angels to their knees, leaving them praying and praising each time it passed through them.
The sound from the ball was deafening: a deep rumbling, like laws of nature were being shattered within it, and the air crackling with the sound of hot blades singeing it as they sliced around them through the space.
As he approached he felt himself resist but the beings continued to pull him forward. When he resisted further one of them turned to him and with a surprisingly deep and peace-filled voice said, “Fear not. For He is good.”
And in that moment Danny realized the vastness of this goodness was what he so feared. He saw within the light thousands of scenes of people being touched and severed by God’s goodness. It was good people being freed from burdens that kept them from the justice they deserved. It was wayward people being brought to their knees by their wrongs so they had a moment of clarity in which they could choose a new path. These blades were not afraid to draw metaphorical blood from dark parts of hearts if it could free the soul.
Just a few paces from the sphere, he fell to his knees, knowing he could not stand before this being and keep all the parts of him he hoarded.
Suddenly he felt a warmth flow over him, and the sound around him blurred as if a bubble of water had grown from the sphere and engulfed him. The accompanying beings had dropped back. And he heard a voice.
“I want to remove something from you.”
Danny was terrified. Would God ask for whole years from his life when he had been wayward, or would God take away someone he was a little too attached to? Those years he had cheated a little on his taxes, and the thoughts of resentment he harbored felt obscenely highlighted inside of him, and he wanted them covered up. He now felt how unholy he was in this pure light. He could feel impurities in so many crevices of his soul, far too many to count. He would only be one gaping wound if every one of his impurities were to be cut out.
Then the voice came again, “Resent your brother no longer.”
Danny knew exactly what part of his soul that was. He felt it and it suddenly felt so large. But he was grateful that this is all God asked of him today. He looked down and he could see it, like a glowing wedge of his heart. He slowly grasped it with his hand and slid it out, like an organ that had grown undetected among the others. He gratefully lifted it up as he said, “Alright. Yes. It is yours, Lord.”
A blade of the blue light sliced through the air and cut it clean from his out-reaching hands. He felt all the tangled tendrils of it being tugged out of his heart and he fell to his stomach in the dream. Then he woke up.
He looked over at his bed stand and saw his phone had a notification. He picked it up. A text from his brother said, “Hey bro, so sorry to ask yet again. But do you think you could possibly help me with rent again this month pls?”
—-
Knowing that God aims for total purity, what small thing might he be asking you to surrender today? How can we be grateful he only asks that of us today?
Raw Spoon, 12-29-2020
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