Darren was ticked at the doctor from the clinic. How did she not catch that it was cancer after the first CT scans they took of him. If only they had caught it earlier.
And now, in the bigger hospital across town, they had taken out the tumor. But not only did they take out the tumor, because they hadn't caught it early enough, they had to take out a big chunk of the muscle around it. But not only did they have to take out the chunk of muscle, they had to radiate the whole location. And now his whole neck and face and chest would be in pain for a month.
But no one disagreed that they had to do it; he was only 26 years old and didn't want to battle this cancer again.
He had a lot of time to wait in that hospital bed. So he found himself reluctantly picking up his phone to do his Bible time. He opened the lectionary app and read Joshua 7.
It was the story of when Joshua was leading the people through the wilderness and they start losing battles. So Joshua asks God why and God says that this one dude, Achan, has kept some of the forbidden spoils from a scouting trip buried in his tent. God instructs them to stone not only Achan but also all of his poor family. But not only his family, but his livestock. And not only his livestock but all his possessions. Then, as if that weren't enough, God instructed them to burn it all. All for one dude hiding some foreign loot. That didn't seem fair at all.
Darren leaned back and seethed in anger. He whispered, "God, this is why it is so hard to love you!" As he gnarled his lips into an angry scowl he almost crumpled under the pain in his neck.
But it was at that moment he realized the parallels this story had to his. The doctors had just done to Darren's body what God had done to his own young body of people, to root out dangerous mindsets before they spread, and give his young tribe a better chance of survival.
Then he heard the young doctor from the clinic talking to someone outside his door. She must have come all the way across town to the hospital to visit him.
And suddenly he realized that cancer wasn't the only dangerous thing inside of him that needed exhuming. "God, forgive me."
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In what ways has God killed things in you to help you thrive?
Raw Spoon,
10-10-20
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