Stew was steaming. He didn't know why he seemed to wake up on the wrong side of the bed so often. As soon as he woke up, negative thoughts pummeled him about his boss. Or about his wife. Or his sister. They were good people and didn't deserve it so then negative thoughts about himself overwhelmed him.
He splashed his morning coffee firmly on the side table, and then scrambled to make sure none got on the upholstered chair. He doubled down on the Bible in his lap. The morning's reading was Psalm 35.
"Fight my enemies, LORD! Attack my attackers! Shield me and help me. Aim your spear at everyone who hunts me down, but promise to save me."
The psalms almost never applied to him, especially in this civilized first world life. He didn't have any enemies out to get him. And he definitely did not want God to "aim his spear" at his loved ones he got mad at.
His kids got on his nerves a lot but they couldn't be the ones God was talking about either. They were just being kids.
"Let all who want to kill me be disgraced and put to shame. Chase away and confuse all who plan to harm me. Send your angel after them and let them be like straw in the wind. Make them run in the dark on a slippery road, as your angel chases them."
Jeez. The psalms were so harsh. He was kinda p'd at how he tried to read the Bible every day and yet it just got him more mad. The Bible slipped between his legs and crumpled on the floor. Shoot. He scrambled to pick it up. The Bible definitely was not the enemy. This wasn't who he wanted to be. His mind went to the bottle in the cabinet. I could use a drink already. No, it's only 8am. He couldn't get back into that again.
"God, it feels like something's working against me here." Stew looked up in realization. He shook his head as if shewing off a fly. If there were spirits or whatever putting all these vindictive thoughts into his head about people he wanted to love, he did want those spirits dead. Dead with a passion.
From that day on, Stew saw himself in a battle against foes that deserved his hate. And the Psalms took on new meaning and soon became his favorite part of his morning readings as it was a time to wage war against the negativity and destruction that threatened his peace and relationships each day.
When was the last time you had thoughts that resembled Stew's? Who were they against? Were they fair, patient, or loving at all? Does it feel like some other force inside of you is putting those thoughts there? Wage war against them. Pray against them in the psalms. SEe them as the enemy to the life God wishes for you.
Raw Spoon, 3-30-21