I think I try to make my heart be a certain way. I try to make myself kinder or more patient.
but if I am in control, I’ll probably just find ways to make myself feel kinder or more patient because I’m still just wanting what’s best for me. Maybe unselfish things must come from outside of me.
So how do we make that happen?
Maybe we can’t. But instead maybe we must simply put our humbled selves in the presence of God. And as we sit in prayer and worship, surrendered, like doing the back float in a big hot tub of God’s presence, we will be able to simply observe our heart being slowly melted and reformed into something better.
Sometimes during worship, I try to take my hands off the reins and peer down into my chest just to observe what is happening. And sometimes that is when I feel the fiery velvet love of God melting me slowly, squeezing me gently. I’m not sure what it’s turning me into, and that’s part of giving up the control, but I feel the warmth and little changes in my attitude and I realize that what is happening is better than if I had made it happen on my own.