How Cursing the Fig Tree kind of rescued my faith

My anger started on Monday when I read the daily reading in which Jesus says "If you do not forgive others, God will not forgive you." (Matthew 6:14-15). I thought, the people who have been hurt the most probably have the hardest time forgiving. Why should they miss out on God forgiving them?

Then I got mad when I read today's reading, which is in Mark, when Jesus curses the fig tree to never bear fruit again. I'm like, 'dang, Jesus I want to like you, but you sound like a guy who slices the tires of a food truck for not having anymore tacos. I mean, you just sound mean, dude.' He's mean to the pharisees, "you whitewashed tombs" and gets frustrated with his disciples for not understanding him. He lets people go because they can't give up absolutely all their riches. I really want to like him but...

By the way, I got depressed on Monday when I was trying to read that day's scripture because I also had the thought, "Everything that I know about God, has been told to me by pastors, worship songs, and of course the Bible. But my point is, I don't think I've ever had legitimate encounters with God, enough so that I could say I know who He is. Like you know how you've gone on walks with your friends, and had tough convos with them, and you've heard them say things and seen them do things with your own eyes. I wouldn't call anyone a friend who I just keep hearing ABOUT."

But the strangest part in this morning's frustrating reading is that almost directly after the fig tree story, it says again, as if almost out of nowhere, "Go and forgive others so that God can forgive you." That made me think now God was TRYING to provoke me.

My anger, I have found, is God's invitation to deeper understanding. So I finally spent an hour excavating, the Bible and my heart. The unlock happened at some point when I remembered some similarities with Jonah's story. After the episode where he's stuck pondering his life inside a fish, is a lesser known moment. Jonah has just preached to Ninevah and they all repented. Jonah is then angry at God because he thought they all deserved to perish instead of having another chance to repent and he is out sulking in the desert. Then God causes a plant to grow up and give Jonah some shade. Jonah's like, cool okay, I can manage in this shade. Then God causes that plant to wither and Jonah loses his cool. It reveals Jonah's anger again and God reasons with him, "You didn't cultivate this plant, yet you get all angry when I take it away? Shouldn't I care so much more for this whole nation than you do for a little plant? This has shown how selfish and unforgiving YOU are."

God had revealed Jonah's heart by withering a plant. And God had revealed my heart by withering a plant, a fig tree. I didn't realize I was the character in this story like Jonah was in his, but it seems Jesus has suddenly turned and looked at me. "Ross, I showed you this withered this tree so that I could show you your heart."

I started out being mad that Jesus withered a perfectly innocent tree. Poor tree. But as I researched, I realized the tree is probably an image of the ruling church leaders of the day. Leaders that claim they have fruit to give by having flashy leaves, but really being empty 'whitewashed tombs.' I think this because directly after he curses the tree and says no one will ever eat from you again, he goes and clears the temple of the money changers. And about 40 years later the temple IS destroyed and leaders taken out of power, like the tree was withered and forbidden to give any more "fruit."

"Ross, you are mad at me for withering a little tree in a story. Shouldn't I be okay to remove a ruling party that is leading my people far astray? Jonah's fault was being too harsh on a nation, not forgiving them. Your fault is being too nice to allow me to clean house, and not forgiving me. My son, I am cleaning our house because I want to bring my people into something better, as a spotless bride.

"Let me purify your heart, Ross. Now that you see my reasons for what I do, can you forgive me, so that I can forgive you and bring you along with me?"

Maybe He IS here walking with me. Maybe he is speaking to me like a friend. Maybe in fact he knows my heart deeper than my friends do and he just showed me He does. It just takes pausing, setting my things down in the dirt, and arguing it out with him.

"Ross, I withered this tree to show you that you were angry at me. And I used it to help you see why I do what I do. Now confess and forgive me so I can forgive you and make you clean. And then pick up your things and walk again with me."

Raw Spoon, Sept 16, 2026