My hands are heavy as lead Like they’re nailed to this stone- I can’t move. My eyes won’t open- dry like pits. The echo of sweaty voices approaching, Hooves and shoes shuffling through death-laden waters In deep vacuous darkness. It’s all black. The smell of wet fur and conjugal acts. Bitten nails reaching to touch me.
Where are you? I need you. You saved my fathers. But even my fathers- their faces Of disappointment, Of shame hang in my mind. The spitting. The flicks of the hands. Everybody wanted a shot at me.
A cold metal ring touches my skin the breath and whiskers of a great beast Pressing into my arm And another crusty nose Flipping back the dead skin Of my cut-open side. I cannot move. I cannot lift a hand.
But then a deafening jolt. For a moment all my cells let go. All weightless. All these bodies lift from the ground- My body separates from the cold stone. A ringing in my ears, an emptiness Like a sudden vacuum. Perfect silence. But then the world slams together And shutters, Like a brick slammed into rock. And all the frantic voice and shuffle Rushes back- a cacophonous chorus of chaos. They have fallen again Into the molting waters, Hooves slipping on stone And garments ripping.
That was the moment foretold. When the ancient gears of the earth Slow to stillness. They stop turning, And they begin to turn the other way. That was the moment The earth’s timeline bends in half And things begin to reverse. Death is coming back to me, Undressing before me. Breaking each of his own fingers Before me.
And my heart. I feel him, my heart. He has knelt in me and lifted his heavy fist, Like a hammer, About to pound against my chest.
I can see it coming now- I will warm this heavy rock with my body. Through the rest of this night The warmth will seep And fill this place With a silent crawling conquer. The sun just completed its pilgrimage And has started its journey home. Heaven has turned around And now pursues the earth.
My life is governed by death no longer. Our spirits no longer mastered By bones straining in their bags of skin. But our spirits will learn to master these bodies.
For life has birthed an heir Whose crown has uncrush-able gems; Their light is gathering behind my eyelids.
You are God. You will not leave me to fade; Your promise is true. I have seen the dark And you have called me from it. I feel strength to break this stone, To bend these nails To silence this satanic chorus With one motion.
I have lifted my hand from the stone.