So, check out these questions and these stats from surveying 40 people. This is of course skewed because they are my friends (or friends of friends) on Facebook.
But you can see the results of the full survey here and take it if you want to!
I didn’t get demographic data from everyone but of those who answered, 23 were female, and 12 male. 26 were from the south, 4 from the Midwest, 2 had both South and Mid-west influence, one was from the Northwest, and a couple were from out of the country (UK and Canada). 14 were single, 8 were married. Oh, and I partnered with my wonderful (and much funnier) blogging friend, Claire Galloway for help with the questions. Check out her site!
So, here are the questions.
I wondered if people generally thought it okay to meet someone over digital media?
Those in the biggest group think it is okay to meet someone over any digital media. Although there’s a significant contingent that stop at each level.
How do people generally think it’s best to ask someone out? (I forgot to give the option to choose “in person” and that was what was almost all of the “other” answers were.)
It seems best to go with the most personal mode possible, but text or Messenger are usually okay to use.
Ok, so now, what is an appropriate activity for a first date?
A quick coffee or meal seems the safest request for a first date (but perhaps leave an option open to do something together afterwards if it’s going well!)
Okay so here’s a big question: Is chivalry dead?
It turns out even if chivalry is dead, the expectation is still there. Let’s resurrect some chivalry, Gents.
What sort of things should (and should not) be done and talked about on a first date?
Most agree you should give your date your full attention and get to know their basic interests and who they. And it doesn’t seem like a bad idea for men to point out something about their date that looks nice.
Then I was curious about how important it is that the person is aligned theologically.
So most Christians want to date another Christian, but aren’t strict about the denomination.
What about physical touch? Do people expect a kiss if the date goes well?
It looks like the biggest grouping of people are open to kiss on a first date but only if it was a phenomenal date. But there are just as many people who think it’s okay to test the chemistry as there are folks who don’t kiss on the first date. And there’s one person out there who will possibly kiss you if you look juicy, even if you’re not a great match.
If you are dating other people, when should you let the others go and focus on one person?
It looks like the grouping with the most people think after about two or three dates it’s time to let the other contenders go. But in a very close second was the group of those who require a DTR. My thought from this is that narrowing down after two or three dates is the polite timing, and might be assumed by the other party, but at the DTR is the official time to let the others go.
You know that text you sometimes send after a date? I wondered if people expect it as a courtesy or if they consider it an indicator on whether or not someone wants to go out again.
Most people consider the “I had a nice time” text as an indicator of whether or not someone wants to go out again. But a significant number also expected it as a polite formality. So perhaps sending it is a good idea, but if you don’t want to go out again, and you want to be safe and clear, you can politely communicate that is what you want.
If someone does want a second date, when should they contact the other person again?
The grouping with the most people thought the next date should be planned within three to four days, but only slightly less thought within a week or whenever was fine as well.
How many people try to give someone a second date before they give them the boot?
Most people give someone a second try if they don’t feel the chemistry on the first date.
So what if after a date or two you don’t think there’s a future? Is it too late to just send an exit text, or do I have to call?
After three dates it looks like you should probably have a conversation in person or give the courtesy of a call.
How likely is it that we will be able to stay friends after dating?
Most people thought being a friend after dating depends on how long they dated or if they were friends beforehand.
How man opposite-sex friends are you comfortable with them having?
It looks like opposite-sex friends are good, but most folks prefer that the person doesn’t have more opposite-sex friends than same sex ones. Those who commented in “other” often mentioned something like the sex of their friends shouldn’t matter to your relationship if you have trust.
What are some of those things you hate? (These are the sorts of things I’m in danger of doing and would have no idea why that date ended so abruptly.)
Okay, so I guess just don’t do any of these things (anymore).
Does it bug folks if the woman has more money, education, or influence, etc. than the guy?
Most people don’t care if the woman has more than the man in any of these categories!
Okay so that’s our survey! Hope you learned something that will help prevent you from sending the wrong signals, or being a jerk on future dates.
Raw Spoon, 6-20-17