Fynnigan sat in a coffee shop with her ear buds in. She texted her only friend, a boy who didn’t have a good home life either. No one liked them at school so they found each other.
Fynn: “Hey were you okay today after Johhn outted you on social media?”
Trent: “I’m trying not to hate him. There are some people I need to tell in my own timing. I’m so mad.”
Fynn: “I’m sorry. Sarah Soffer told the class I had a camel toe today. Total B move. Trying not to hate her.”
Trent: “I heard that. I'm so sorry. That is NOT okay. The stupid part is it seems to have so much power over us. I don’t want to be the type that hates anybody! I’m a nice gay boy!”
Fynn: “I want to be nice too! But I can feel my heart getting harder after stuff like that.”
Trent: A little angry emoji.
Fynn: “Hey, so fan-girl moment here, but Jenny Joy is playing on stage here at this open mic at Tunnel Grounds.”
Trent: “The lady who was cancelled for those political comments?”
Fynn: “Yeah! But I’ve always liked her. But it’s kinda crazy, she seems just the same as always. Hasn’t said a thing that would make you think she was cancelled. Doesn’t seem to be mad at all. Even though they’re all sad songs, in between the songs she seems to have this happiness, just to be playing her music and enjoying life.”
Trent: “Jenny Joy has joy?!” With a laughing emoji.
Fynn: “lol I’ll try to send you a video.” She lifted her phone and pressed record.
Jenny Joy looked up from tuning her guitar and said, “Here’s a new song. This one’s for a…” she paused over the next word, “friend,” that went home before I got enough time with him. And it’s a little for my mom who is also there waiting without me.”
She began to play a bittersweet lullaby which had the chorus: "My heart went home. My heart went home”
Fynnigan swallowed a knot and sent the video with a text: “She def doesn’t seem like someone who’s been cancelled.”
Trent: “Hmm, No sign of being cancelled on social media either. She looks pretty happy, actually. Before and after being cancelled. If only we had that power over our emotions.”
Trent: “Hey maybe you should ask her how she does it.”
Fynn smiled at the thought but she was always a little shy to do anything that would draw attention to her. She knew people judged her look. But just then Jenny Joy said, “Thank’s ya’ll. Be good to each other.” And started gathering her things.
Fynn: "She's leaving."
Trent: "Do it girlfriend!!"
Fynn took a breath and jumped up, almost knocking the table over. She scrambled over just in time to meet Jenny at the door. “Excuse me!” She said it a little too loud as she tapped her on the shoulder.
Jenny Joy turned around. Her smile was Fynn's first impression. Such a wide, natural smile and white teeth. She said, “Hey Darling, how are you?”
Fynn said, “Hi Jenny Joy, um, I mean Jenny, My friend and I wanted to ask you something. How do you stay happy--I mean how do you not just get totally ticked at people who canceled you? I mean I hope that’s okay to say you were C--” She stopped, knowing she sounded dumb like usual.
Jenny opened her arms and said, “Can I hug you, you darling young woman.” Fynn’s eyes got big. She nodded slightly and accepted the sincere hug, almost in shock. Jenny stepped back and said, “Darling, my happiness might be influenced by things in this world. But my joy isn’t. Joy is the foundation. All my other feels move on top of that.”
Fynnigan replied, “I mean, how do you have Joy then? I feel like sadness is my foundation--so much bad in this world.”
Jenny Joy nodded and said, “My foundation used to be sadness too. But I have a secret.” She leaned closer to the big-eyed Fynn. “When I was about your age I had a dream and in it I saw heaven. And there is where I was loved in the purest way by those who I have loved the most. And for some reason, I believed the dream in a really deep way."
Fynn replied, "So the dream changed you?"
Jenny said, "And just knowing that the reality behind all things is a place where all is made right has given me joy as my foundation. As long as you believe that at your core, nothing can shake you to your core, because it will be full of love… and joy.”
What do you believe is the reality behind all things? Will it be good in the end? How does your belief about reality effect your joy.
-Raw Spoon, Aug 13, 2022